Change, like sunshine, can be a friend or a foe, a blessing or a curse, a dawn or a dusk.
~William Arthur Ward
Change is inevitable. As a general rule I embrace it and find ways to navigate the new paradigm shift. Most of the time, the changes are positive and just what I needed to shake me out of the complacency that comes with being too comfortable in where my life is at any given moment.
At least that is what I tried to remind myself when everything recently went to hell in a hand basket. Have you ever faced a moment when everything you expected and counted on, everything you knew about yourself abruptly went out of focus? It is frightening, isn’t it?
Losing a job isn’t the end of the world. Far from it. But losing a job after twenty years with the same company tilted my world on its axis. Finding myself standing outside the doors holding a box containing personal items from my desk left me stunned and lost. My brain literally shut down because I couldn’t process what had just happened. It didn’t matter that I was just another victim of corporate downsizing or that it wasn’t anything personal. It felt damn personal to me.
I’d like to say I handled it like a pro, but the truth of the matter is there really is a grieving process with any unexpected loss – including a job. There were days when getting out of my pajama’s was too much effort and a lot of nights I slept on the couch because it helped mitigate the panic when I woke up each morning and realized I wasn’t going to work. After twenty years of defining myself by my accomplishments and position within my former company I suddenly had to identify myself as unemployed. It felt like failure.
To say I am blessed with family and friends is a gross understatement. They helped me even when I found it hard to be comforted by their support and understanding. They offered encouragement, laughter when I needed it most and a steady presence that made it possible for me to work my way through the dark hole I fell in to.
I still have a lot to figure out and finding another job is at the top of my list. The creativity energy to write is slowly returning and that is a huge relief. It was doubly scary to find words had deserted me and my characters were silent.
As a general rule I am an optimist and working my way through recent events has shown me I have more strength than I realized. I will be okay. Truly, who knows where life will take me next. All I know is stepping boldly to greet whatever comes my way is much better than allowing past events to defeat me.
Change is what we make of it after all.
My heart goes out to you. I think your blog will be an inspiration to others who are facing unwelcome change, be it career, relationships, any type of loss. Virtual hugs to you. ~ Viola
Thanks, Viola. It took me some time before I could write the post, but it was cathartic in the end. Distance makes most things a little more palatable and forced changes not as scary. At least that is what I keep telling myself 🙂